Kiran Bedi: A police chief with a difference

Kiran Bedi: A police chief with a difference #TED : http://on.ted.com/i03r

A few awesome things about India:

India boasts of many facts and figures to make us feel that warm wave that passes through our body whenever we listen to a compliment or good music (I call it the ‘pride wave’…) If you don’t know what I’m talking about, go listen to the Indian national song – Vande Mataram, you might experience it if you’re Indian. Here are the ones I get a lot from my fellow countrymen, my replies are in bold…

India is the world’s largest, oldest, continuous civilization.

And we don’t know shit about our history to feel any pride here…

India is the world’s Largest democracy.

Is it? Take a recent affair in India, the country’s presidential elections are going to be held and it seems a little stupid to me that the common citizens of India can’t vote for their own president. The people’s choice is a former scientist, known as the missile man of India, Abdul Kalam… And I’m not just saying that. The RSS, an extremist Hindu right wing organization in India has backed Kalam even though he’s a Muslim and yet the ruling Congress picked their candidate from their own party when presidents are supposed to be unbiased. Democracy my ass.

India never invaded any country in her last 10000 years of history.

Fat lot of good that did to us, we got invaded for a thousand years because we didn’t.

India invented the number system. Zero was invented by Aryabhatta.

That was two millenniums ago, the majority of modern and mediaeval mathematical inventions are credited to Europeans and the Chinese… And we didn’t get any credit for this either, they are called Arab numerals in the west.

When many cultures were only nomadic forest dwellers over 5000 years ago, Indians established Harappan culture in Sindh Valley (Indus Valley Civilization)

This would be a killer fact bringing on the biggest of pride waves, but Indians themselves believe the Aryan Dravidian theory which says Aryans were Iranians who conquered India by driving the Dravidians south thus ending this glorious civilization, and this stupidest of theories proposed by a European indologist, at a time when they were notorious for their famous divide and rule policy, is encouraged by Congress and their allies in the southern most state of India.

There are 300,000 active mosques in India , more than in any other country, including the Muslim world

Why is the number of mosques a matter of pride? Muslims go to a mosque for their prayers (namaaz) but they also pray on airplanes, their own house, anywhere because apparently namaaz is done based on the time of the day not the place you are in (I gathered that from the Bollywood movie My Name Is Khan which by the way stereotyped all Americans as stereotypical racist fucks)
Anyway since mosques hold no significance, not even as a holy piece of land since they consider Mecca to be their holy land, they are mainly Islamic buildings. This fact is the dumbest of all.

Sanskrit is the mother of all the European Languages . Sanskrit is the most suitable language for computer software – a report in Forbes magzine July 1987.

First of all, I couldn’t find that article anywhere. Second, I think it was an article in the Artificial Intelligence magazine, though I can’t find that too. Do I suck at googling or is this just false?

But but but, the first sentence is true, Sanskrit is the world oldest language, a few people say Avestan is older but after I looked at a certain article on the Brahmi script I concluded Sanskrit is older, but that’s not relevant. The mother of all languages is dead and we killed it.

Chess (Shataranja or AshtaPada) was invented in India.

And the current world chess champion Vishwanathan Anand is an Indian. That’s something to be proud of.

India is one of the few countries in the world, which gain independence without violence.

Very very shameful. Violence is wrong when you strike first or when it’s for revenge. Violence isn’t wrong when used for self defence. If only Gandhi had understood this we’d have gotten independence much faster and martyrs like Bhagat Singh wouldn’t had died in vain.

India has the second largest pool of Scientist and Engineers in the World.

lol this is just plain untrue. True many scientists and engineers are Indians but the better ones of them and a majority of them work abroad and hence India doesn’t ‘have’ them because we simply cannot offer any incentives for them to stay and are a nation where knowledge is respected but never sought.

India is the largest English speaking nation in the world.

First of all, I think it’s USA. Second, I don’t know which bloody idiot sent me this. Less than 1% of India knows Sanskrit and we’re proud we got impregnated by a brit.

India is the only country other than US and Japan, to have built a super computer indeigenously.

If you take pride in being 3rd you’re beneath even my criticism…

India has the largest number of Post Offices in the world

What the fuck, we’re the only large country where half the people haven’t heard of the internet.

The largest employer in the world is the Indian Railways , employing over a million people.

True and I would be proud. Incidentally, I happened to travel via train 4 days back and I have to tell you it was the worst travelling experience I’d had in a long time. (skip the italics if you like) For example, I was given untreated water in a bottle of a popular packaged water brand on which the date of manufacturing was 19 June… I’m writing this article on the 18th. So either I was offered water a year old or they’d managed to time travel and they brought back something as insipid as a water bottle to prove it. Or the train canteen staff were selling adulterated food and water to save money because there is no way the original brand would make such a huge printing mistake. The train was ‘GareebRath express.’ So no points for Indian railways which is the worst piece of crap through which to travel.

India was one of the richest countries till the time of British rule in the early 17th Century.

It was the second richest country in the world is what I heard.

Christopher Columbus, attracted by India’s wealth, had come looking for a sea route to India when he discovered America by mistake.

It was the second richest country in the world is what I heard.

The Baily Bridge is the highest bridge in the world. It is located in the Ladakh valley between the Dras and Suru rivers in the Himalayan mountains. It was built by the Indian Army in August 1982

I could build a 2cm bridge made of a twig on top of mount Everest: More details on what purpose it solved please. Indian army is still awesome though, they’ve won 4 wars using the shittiest of equipment and could’ve won the last too had we had a prime minister with balls then.

The Vishnu Temple in the city of Tirupathi built in the 10th century, is the world’s largest religious pilgrimage destination. Larger than either Rome or Mecca, an average of 30,000 visitors donate $6 million (US) to the temple everyday.

And the chief minister of the state in which it lies was a devout Christian… Recently there were stories that he was planning to build a church close by. He banned any missionary activity in that area after he heard these stories though. (he’s dead now but his son isn’t, his son is extremely corrupt and just won the state by polls by buying out essentially everyone in the state)

Varanasi, also known as Benaras, was called “the Ancient City” when Lord Buddha visited it in 500 B.C., and is the oldest, continuously inhabited city in the world today.

The river which made this city so holy to the hindus is now a large flowing shit. The water which even the Mongols and Europeans recognised to have healing properties due to presence of a bacteria will perhaps even kill you now.

Martial Arts were first created in India, and later spread to Asia by Buddhist missionaries.
Yoga has its origins in India and has existed for over 5,000 years.

Yoga is seen as a joke by the newer generation in India, martial arts is seen as a Chinese at even by Indians themselves, that’s how dead it is.

Well there you have it. I may be seen as a pessimist fucker but that’s usually how optimists see realists.

To support Abdul Kalam please try to make this a trend on twitter: #kalam4prez

(If you like this blog please check out my twitter)

what this blog is about…

This blog is about lNDlA.
I will post stuff that will make you feel proud of your being an Indian. Please subscribe if I succeed in doing so.

Though I must warn you, I’ve been told I’m racist, extremist and overall, a jerk. There is a difference between being racist and being patriotic. Your grandfather glorifies your tradition and nationality, doesn’t make him racist does it?

Pseudo secular people will find me to be extremist.

And if you’re a Congress party worker, show this blog to Kapil Sibal with the following regards:

fuck you.

You might have to rotate your head 90° to understand what the image means if you have the IQ of a guy who thinks Rahul Gandhi’s IQ is anything above -150.

That’s right bitches… this blog is more than just glorifying India…it’s also about bashing those who are giving me lesser to be proud of, of India everyday.

That’s about it. Good day.

(Oh and if ever this blog is suddenly off the internet, know that I will never delete this blog… the address is way too awesome. If that ever does happen it’s probably because of that fucker K***l S***l «« that’s me taking a leaf out of his book and censoring shit that might lead to protests #anonymous #opindia)